What-IF

Nearly everyday we all go through thoughts that circle around 'What-IF.'

What-IF this happens or that happens, how things would have changed if I had done some things differently, how I would have been if I took another route instead of the one that I am taking. Sometimes we go to the extent of thinking and talking about 'What-IF's' in a way that we start living them instead of perceiving them as mere thoughts.

One such major 'What-IF' is about life and death. In January 2008 (not a week ago), I had a near-death experience, where I was in the ICU and the doctor's could not predict the outcome to my husband. Those 3 days were sheer hell for him while I was lying unconscious, unaware of what was happening around me. The first thought that came to my mind when I woke up was why am I in this place and not with my family. The nurse told me that they almost lost me and they could be certain that I was out of danger only after I had woken up. As you can imagine, I was shaken by this experience and the only 'What-IF' that came to my mind was, "What IF I had died? Would I have tried/ fought to come back or as we see in a lot of movies, hover over my husband and kids and feel bad for not being able to spend more time with them?" After I came home, I realized how many people (including my family, friends and even co-workers) were scared for me and were praying and hoping for my safe return and even more glad that I am back safe and sound, better than ever. Boy, Am I glad to be ALIVE and KICKING:)

This near-death experience had made me think about my priorities and 'What-IFs." No matter what you think you could have become, it is only a thought that makes you lose your perspective and hides your present from you. It has made me realize that by taking each day as a fresh new start, you can try and correct your mistakes, each new day is a chance for you to be a better person than you already are, each day is a chance for you to make people around you special and loved.

Ultimately it does not matter if you had a lot of money or a Phd or whatever it is that you don't have right now, if you don't have people who love you and hug you and tell you that 'Everything will be alright, no matter what,' you don't have anything (even if you are the most __________(whatever, fill in the blanks yourself) person.

Revaluate your priorities and be thankful to a power higher than us, to that power that has granted me a second chance to be with the people I love and the people who love me.

All the best for those who have been given a second chance and for others who are lucky enough to live their first chances. Not everybody will get a second chance so do make best use of this one life that we get and be thankful.

~Laks

The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives." - Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)

Prayer brings victory - in good times and bad times

Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I'm not a very religious person, but I certainly believe in the existence of a supreme power above that controls everything that happens in this world. Like most of the mortals out there, I too think of God only when there is a problem. May be that attitude of mine should change. May be I should think of God more often. May be that's why He has been giving me enough to worry about (for the last 7 months in particular), that I keep thinking of Him all the time now. Funny that I now find time to think of Him when all these days when the times weren't this bad, that I conveniently forgot about His existence. May be this is a signal for me learn to pray in good time and bad times. May be this is a reminder to be thankful for what I have and not lament about what I don't. May be this is a reminder to me of my high school's famous motto "Prayer brings victory". Now that He has manged to gain my attention, I want to share a prayer that has helped me stay afloat in troubled times before

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference

First earth quake experience

We have made it a routine to visit the local Hindu temple on Tuesday evenings. (start digression) We are not very religious or anything like that, but firmly believe in a divine power that controls everything from above (end digression). We were planning to do that on Tuesday October 30th as well. L however had a bad headache and wanted to backout and suggested that I still go with Vidyuth. For some reason, I didn't want to leave her/Vishruth at home and go just with Vidyuth. I insisted that either all of us go together and or all of us stay back. I casually (I'm certainly not psychic) remarked "What if an earthquake happens when I'm away". So we decided to skip the visit and planned to do it on another day

We finished dinner and then around 8.00pm when we were all sitting in the living room, we felt that the floor was shaking. We initially thought that some kids were running real hard outside on the corridor but within secs we realized it was an earthquake. All the golu dolls that we still had on the steps were shaking and we just ran outside with the kids. We waited outside for a few mins and also noticed that our neighbors were outside as well

It was certainly a scary experience (though it was only 25-30 secs) but fortunately there was no damage of any kind. Most of the people in the bay area that I spoke to had experienced it as well

What parents want!!

Back in my early childhood days in the early 80s, I distinctly remember that every other parent (mother and/or father) wanted their kids to either be an Engineer (or) a Doctor. Any other profession/degree such as Sociology (or) Arts was totally ridiculed and was almost a taboo. Even participation in extra-curricular activities such as sports, music always took a back seat comparted to academics. I must say that I was certainly lucky in that regard, for my parents never forced anything on me and gave me full freedom and independence to pursue (or not pursue) whatever I wanted

Fast forward the clock to 2007, I have 2 kids now and the trend that I observe with present day parents is this. Not only do they want their kids to excel in academics, they also want their kids (even if they are as young as 3) to learn music, arts, martial arts, dancing. One of the parents that I know even boasted that his kid is learning archery...at age 5...is he kidding??? While it is certainly none of my business to dictate what each parent should do, my views on this topic is pretty clear.

I want my children to first of all enjoy their childhood. I want them to get drenched in the rain without worrying about catching a cold, play hard outside that they are covered in mud. L and I share the vision that we will certainly encourage them to try out new activities that they want to try, but not obsess that they are the Numero Uno in that activity. That is, we will not expect them to be a Picasso if they take up painting.... well you get the idea!!!

L and I want to be there for them for positive encouragement and be a launch pad for them and expose them to wide variety of things in way that it nurtures their natural curiosity as children. I will certainly want to encourage independent thinking, kindness towards fellow human beings and helping the underprivileged. I certainly want them to have a mix of basic academic knowledge, solid analytical thinking and an overall personality development. Again, all of the above are only my thoughts and certainly L and I will make a conscious effort to not to force even the above but merely steer them towards that

In short, we would be very satisfied at the end of the day if our children are some relatively unknown good human beings rather than really popular and talented jerks!!

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.” - George Carlin

Love and love only

என்ன காயம் ஆன போதும் என் மேனி தாங்கிக் கொள்ளும் உந்தன் மேனி தாங்காது செந்தேனே
எந்தன் காதல் என்னவென்ரு சொல்லாமல் ஏங்க ஏங்க அழுகை வந்தது
எந்தன் சோகம் உன்னைத் தாக்கும் என்ரென்னும் போது வந்த அழுகை நின்றது

very powerful lines, how very true....aptly written (Padmashree Vaali), divinely tuned (Maestro Ilayaraja) and grippingly emoted (Padmashri Kamalahaasan)...

P.S: Why hasn't Ilayaraaja been awarded a Padmashree? Not that it affects his composing abilities without one, but as an ardent fan of a musical genius who has contributed immensely to the music field, I can't help but wonder....Well that's a subject matter for another post!!

Power of appreciation

Have you ever wondered that we get so pre-occupied with our daily chores, work etc that we easily forget to appreciate what we have? We had a power outage last week and though it lasted only a couple of hours, the minutes that we spent in darkness seemed like eternity. Being in USA, we were not even prepared for an outage....no candles, no torchlight, not even the number to call to find out as to when the service would get restored.

While I was busy cribbing about what we didn't have, amidst our kids' screaming, Lakshmi, my dear wife, came up with the bright idea of lighting a scented candle that her friend had gifted her recently and quite a relief it was!!!

Thankfully all of us had finished dinner, but we had other do-it-rightnow chores like dishes, washing baby bottles etc pending and depending on the availability of power again :-) More importantly, we needed the power badly to use the microwave to heat the milk if our younger son, Vishruth (13 months old) were to cry for milk. Vishruth promptly mistook the outage for his nighttime sleep and happily sang his way to lalalalalala land and truly saved the day!!

On the positive side, we had a nice quiet chat with Vidyuth (4 years old), who when awake doesn't sit in one place for more than 1 sec unless he is using the potty. He was firing away questions about all possible topics starting from the outage itself to sunlight to moonlight...well you get the idea!!

The outage last only a couple of hours....but it certainly made us realize that we ought to appreciate what we have.....the things that we take for granted.....Electricity, Quiet family talk etc